Many people have periods in which they don’t love themselves. These periods can be very difficult, because love is the force that keeps us hopeful and vital. I also had periods like that in my life and these were very hard on me. I was lucky that the universe has helped me through these bad times, and that is why I decided to share my experiences on how I was able to love myself again.

First we have to understand that love in not a concept that we should be learned somehow and understood, it is only an emotion, a feeling. A very simple and straight forward emotion. We have all felt it before. It could have come from our parents, our friends or from our pets. But the most reliable source for love is actually God, or Mother Earth. So if one day you will be left alone without love, then all you have to do is ask God, or Mother Earth for love and you will receive it immediately, without any conditions or judgement. This is why I don’t believe in any religious sect that teaches that Gods’ love has conditions to it. From my experience I can tell you that it is unconditional. Try it for yourself if you don’t believe me!

So the first exercise I suggest you try, is going outside to nature, lying flat on your back on Mother Earth, opening your arms and legs to your sides and asking for Mother Earths’ and Gods’ love, so that it will fill your whole being. Enjoy!

Now, that you know what unconditional love feels like, it is your responsibility to take care of your self love, so that the feeling will always be present when you need it.

I have many beloved albums that I listen to, when I need love. One of my favorites is the Leonard Cohen live concerts. Or the Beatles, all you need is love. Bob Marley’s songs: One love, Positive vibration and Is this love are also great.

Love is an emotion that should be expressed and shared with the people around you, so that you are surrounded by the people you love, and who loves you back. When you are surrounded by people who loves you, no one can “own” your love. Try to fill your world with as many loving beings as you can: People, animals, plants and even rocks. There are no limits to how much love you can give and receive… 😉

Love should be expressed openly: If you love someone – let them know that you love them. They will be happy to know that somebody loves them, and you will enjoy giving love as well, love is endless!

There are many people how don’t love themselves, and it is futile to expect love from them. They cannot give you something that they don’t have. It is usually the case that persons who love themselves, finds other persons who love themselves too. And then they share the love they have between them and create their life out of that love.
And then there are people who have not found self-love yet, and they usually find other people who don’t love themselves yet either and together form a partnership based on the scarcity of love. Until they learn to love themselves, and the relationship ends…

So what can be done if you haven’t found love yet?

It is time to examine our family’s rules of love and ponder if they make any sense.

Reprogramming the family’s rules of love

Every family has it’s own rules for how to express love and whom it should be given to. Rules about who deserves love from the members of the family and who doesn’t. Usually every family has their own rules, so your mother’s family’s love rules will be different from your father’s family love rules. That is why I suggest you take a paper and a pen and divide the paper into two columns:

My father’s family’s love rule & My mother’s family’s love rules.

When I say rules, I mean:

What kind of person you should be, so that you will receive love from your parents?

or

What kind of man, or woman, you should be, so that you will be worthy of your partners love? Continue reading A guide for loving yourself →